Hi. It’s Stella again. Dog lovers out there might be wondering…why doesn’t Stella ever talk about dogs in her world famous blog? Well, first, let me remind you of the name of this blog: the *Cat* Log–the Clog. It’s not the Dog Log! (That would be kind of gross, wouldn’t it?) And “the Dlog”? It just doesn’t have the same ring. So my blog is definitely about cats.
Hey, I love those slobbery, oblivious canines just as much as the next cat. Maybe even more–considering that most cats find them, well, slobbery and oblivious. But I still don’t want to talk about dogs. I find them rather embarrassing. They’re so darned willing to please their owners. Sometimes it’s just plain cringe worthy. Sit, roll over, play dead, speak…what is all that? Have some self respect, dogs! Just chew your way through that treat bag in the middle of the night. Then leave a nice hairball or a pile of barf as your calling card. That’s how you preserve your dignity, guys. You should try it sometime.
Now don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the ol’ tail waggers’ loyalty to their masters. If you’ve been in to Companion Veterinary Hospital lately, for example, you’ll see that I have quite a few admirers of the canine persuasion. When I have a spare moment between naps, I will often make an appearance at the office window, a feat which elicits a fit of excited panting and frantic sniffing from visiting canines. They know I’m here and they’re practically crawling over each other to catch a whiff of Stella’s essence.
Given my status among dog-kind, therefore, I’ve concluded that I must refrain from mentioning the D-word in my Cat Log. There’s a very good chance I’ll insult a large part of my fan base if I discuss how embarrassing they are to the rest of us domesticated pets just trying to earn our rightful place at the top of the food chain. Sheesh!
Hold on…I know what you’re thinking. I just shot myself in the paw by posting this entry in the Clog today, right? Not quite, dear human. For I’ve yet to mention the most pitiful thing about my canine counterparts: Dogs can’t read!
Now let’s agree to never mention the D-word again.