You know you’ve made it when…
Your face is made into wallpaper. Computer wallpaper, that is.
It’s funny. As a tech savvy cat (one who likes to bask in the comfort of PC generated waste heat), I encounter a lot of griping about the desktop computers at CVH:
Stella, the internet is down! Were you sleeping on the Ethernet cable again?
Stella, that’s not a real mouse–stop batting it off the counter.
Stella, the fan vent is clogged with cat hair again…for the last time, get the #$%*& out of there!
You know, just endless complaining about stuff that’s really not that big a deal. Just do a Ctrl-Alt-Del and everything will be fine. Trust me.
What is a big deal, though, is the picture you choose as your background. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly. After all, you’ll be looking at that screen through blurry, tired eyes for several hours a day. By Friday, you will have stared at the monitor for like, what, 185 hours? (Hey, I said I was tech savvy, not a mathematician.)
The point is, you need something very soothing on that screen because you’ll be looking at it ALL DAY. Perhaps you’ll choose a meandering river flanked by verdant vegetation. Or a pastoral scene with grazing livestock, fluffy white clouds and an expansive blue sky. Or a rugged Southwestern desert sunset scene with comforting reddish hues. Maybe a vibrant lighthouse on a towering cliff.
Or MY FACE.
Okay, I’ll admit I was shocked when I learned a Stella background option does not come standard in Windows. But my faith in humankind was restored when the good ladies at CVH figured out how to grace their workstations with my likeness. I am, after all, very easy on the eyes. Or so I’ve been told at least 42,000 times. (Remember: not a mathematician.)
So, while it’s true that most people can’t troubleshoot even the most basic computer problems (hint: just restart your computer), it seems that everyone knows how to change their computer’s wallpaper. May I make a suggestion? The next time you get bored with your picturesque field of flowers or ocean scene? Try the calming influence of Stella’s face looking back at you from your computer screen. It’ll only cost you $1,271,000,388.
(Again: not a mathematician. But a darn good salesperson.)